Lost on the IF Highway

Report on 1st Dr’s appt. May 27, 2011

Filed under: Infertility — Lost on the IF Highway @ 9:52 PM

Well, I can’t say that I didn’t expect for things to go like this, but I have to say I’m really disappointed.  People without insurance in this country are just treated like shit! Excuse my language, but I’m just really upset about how the whole thing went. The only thing that went well was that I didn’t have to wait long to get into the doctor. I waited maybe 10 minutes max, which is really great for the clinic where I go!  Everything else was just a load of the same old crap in a new shiny wrapper.

It will be five years ago this September that I told my husband (M) that I was quitting the BCP’s.  It was not necessarily because I decided I wanted to get pregnant, not at first anyway.  I just hated the way they made me feel and I felt they were my only option for contraception.  My doctor had told me to never use condoms or anything inserted in the vagina because I have a history of chronic infection.  Therefore, the pill and the shot were my only options. The shot has a lot of really bad side effects and the pills were making me crazy (literally – I couldn’t handle the mood swings) so I just gave them up.  When I told my doctor at the time (Dr. T) that I was quitting, she “warned” me I would be “pregnant within the year” if I quit my BCP’s. BOY! Was she wrong or what???!!!  M and I had decided that if we got pregnant, fine.  We wouldn’t be disappointed.  A few months later, we decided to start actually trying, and that’s when all the real problems started surfacing (really bad BV infections, multiple tests, bad periods, missed periods, etc.)  It’s been a nightmare!

So, I update the new doctor (Dr. M) all about the issues we’ve been having. I tell her I was tested for PCOS and Endometriosis a few years ago, that I was also tested for every STD (or STI whatever you wanna call it) about three years ago.  This was because an allergic reaction to shaving cream caused Dr. T (the quack) to believe I had Herpes (of all things).  She was absolutely convinced I needed a full STD workup.  OMG. Talk about embarrassing!  Anyway, Dr. M looks me straight in the eyes and asks, “Have you tried standing on your head for 10 minutes after sex?”  I almost SCREAMED at her!  She said, “You’re looking at me kind of cross-eyed, but I’m serious.”  I thought are you really, because I just told you we’ve been trying for over four years!  I explained about pillows, the calendar method, ovulation tests, the whole nine yards and you think I haven’t already tried this? You’re out of your flippin’ mind!  Her “advice” was as follows:

  • Try the Basal Body Temperature (BBT) charting again
  • Keep using the ovulation kits
  • Try using the pillows again (5-6 of them), but this time lay on your stomach and stay like that for at least 10 minutes (or stand on your head if you think you can do it for 10 minutes)
  • No “sex for fun”. Sex is only for “good days”, and no masturbation for the hubby.  (Yeah, right!  He’s not one to masturbate that often, but if he’s only getting it 7 days out of the month, he’s gonna be doing it. You can bet your life on it.)
  • Start taking Prenatal Vitamins (PV’s) again, but add extra Vitamin E and Zinc.
  • Have the hubby take Zinc as well
  • If you want to pay “several hundred dollars” have the hubby get a SA, but his doctor will have to order it and his insurance will likely not pay for infertility treatment.
  • You probably have PCOS. When your period stops, see an OBGYN and get tested.  Luckily, that’s something my financial assistance will pay for, but only if I go to a doctor in their medical group.
  • If none of this works, she said I could see if my OBGYN will prescribe me some kind of drug (not Chlomid, something else) that might help, but I first have to track down an OBGYN in their group before I can even get a consultation.

What I DID NOT get:

  • Any sympathy whatsoever. It’s not that sympathy is important, but it’s nice to know that your problem is important to your doctor. I felt totally blown off.
  • A referral to an OBGYN in their medical group (so that their financial assistance might help me).
  • A referral to a dermatologist for the moles/thing on my face
  • A diagnosis/solution for my chronic vaginal infections

Needless to say, I’m really unhappy with the advice I received in regard to my IF, but what can I do? I don’t have insurance. NO ONE wants to touch me!  Then, again, my doctor seems to think that insurance won’t cover it anyway.  Why not?  I’ve read tons of blogs about women who have insurance that pays for it.  My husband’s aunt has three kids. They were all conceived via IVF and her husband’s insurance paid for all of it!  Who’s to say if I can get insurance (meaning a good job, hopefully soon) that it wouldn’t pay?  What makes Dr. M so sure they won’t?

As for the moles and the thing on my eye lid – Dr. M thinks that I got a zit on my eye lid that got infected.  I’ve suffered from bad acne my whole life; a lot of it is cystic, but this does NOT feel like a cystic zit. It feels more like the tumors I have/had in my abdomen last year, two of which I had to have cut out.  She put me on some kind of antibiotic that is supposed to help with skin infections. She said it will also help clear up my acne.  However, right there on the bottle it says that if you’re planning on getting pregnant that you either shouldn’t take it or should postpone pregnancy for at least 60 days after the last dose (up to six months).  GREAT!  Thanks for the help, Doc!  Thank you for not only ignoring my IF problem, but actually making it worse!

She did see two moles that probably need to be looked at by a dermatologist, but guess what?  This medical group does not have a dermatologist employed.  Therefore, I have to go to an out-of-group dermatologist and pay in full, out-of-pocket.  She suggested calling the area dermatologists and asking which one is cheaper or has a payment plan system.  Are you serious?  This is ridiculous.

I am by no means condoning the act of getting pregnant just for the sheer purpose of sucking free benefits from the government, but it’s starting to look more and more promising.  I wonder if I ever do get pregnant (PLEASE, LORD!!!), if I could possibly get a medical card???  M only brings home about $40k per year. Maybe it would be more beneficial for us if I just stayed home and didn’t work so that I could get state aid.  How pathetic is it to even be thinking this way?

Well, I just spent $50 on a NEW basal thermometer and health supplements/vitamins.  I guess I better eat a snack so I can take them. I hope I don’t puke any of them up!  Oh yeah – I also have to make up a new chart to track all my BBT’s and OV cycles on. I  hate the little charts that come with the BBT thermometers.  They’re so tiny that by the time you get them all filled out you can’t read it anyway.  It looks more like Hieroglyphics.

Since this is an anonymous blog, M has no clue I’m keeping it.  He’s one of these that thinks it’s some kind of sin to share your personal problems, thoughts, or feelings with ANYONE. You’re better off holding it in until you’re alone where you can break something without any witnesses. LOL. I, on the other hand, must vent.  Therefore, ya’ll are my willing victims and he must never know about this blog!  In the spirit of secrecy, I have to get out of here before he gets home from work.

Much peace and many blessings,



4 Responses to “Report on 1st Dr’s appt.”

  1. Rain Says:

    Wow, what a messed up doctor appointment. How disappointing!! “Stand on your head”??? What kind of advice is that? I am so sorry that the doctor didn’t give you what you want.

    I don’t have much in the way of advice. But, there are “at home” sperm analysis tests that you can buy. They aren’t very accurate, but they can give you an idea if your husband’s sperm count is above or below normal. Try…I know they have some.

    I wish you the best in whatever comes next!!

    • Thank you, Rain – for your advice and for following my blog. I think you’re my only faithful follower. I really appreciate that there is someone out there in the world who cares… I think I’ve read on one other blog that someone recommended that site. I’ll have to check it out while M is at work some day. LOL

  2. Hi CC – that must be so tough to not receive the support you need from your doctor. Can you try another? The blog should help … anonymous or not, expressing yourself can help in lots of ways. Stay strong x

    • TBO – Thank you so much for your support. The blog does help some, and then again I find that it also is sometimes discouraging. I get upset when I see couples who have been trying longer than us with no results, or those who had to give up and go another route (adoption, going childless, etc.). Then, (and I know exactly how hateful and childish this sounds) I have to read the success stories of other couples. No matter how hard I try and how hard I pray for God to make it stop, I get jealous, then sad, then just flat out depressed. I’ve been really busy lately, so that has helped to distract me from my jealousy. =) Thanks again for the note of support. I need all the help I can get.

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