Lost on the IF Highway

Drowning… September 29, 2011

Filed under: Infertility — Lost on the IF Highway @ 10:12 PM

I’m drowning in pregnant bitches!!!  I CAN’T STAND IT!  Let me think.. There’s my hubby’s ex (who consequently is also my friend-weird, huh?), My paraplegic friend, My friend from high school, my team leader, the regional coordinator for my Relay for Life, My friend’s daughter-in-law, my nephew’s child development case worker, and there’s at least one more but there are so many that I’ve lost track.  They are ALL pregnant. Most of them are due in March/April.  I’m just so… so… pissed, depressed, confused, frustrated… I’m just PISSED.  I’m mad at the whole world right now!  Why them?  A paraplegic? Are you SERIOUS?  Oh! My M-I-L’s boss is prego with her paraplegic husband.  Yah. Must be nice to have the finances  to afford to have his sperm extracted and to have IVF, and for it to work THE FIRST TIME??? Common!

God hates me!  That’s just all there is to it! God is pissed off at me and I just don’t know what to do.  I can barely stand to go to work and work side-by-side with this woman every day. She’s about 3 months now and she’s starting to get a little baby bump and it’s “so cute” it makes me puke, almost literally – but she is one BITCHY-ASS pregnant lady!  She was in a really bad mood yesterday and today and I had to say something before I killed her.  She bitched all day yesterday and today she snapped at me twice in the my first ten mintues there. She was griping about having to get up an hour early today (which is the same time I get up EVERY DAY), and she got 10 hours of sleep last night!  I got TWO HOURS of sleep last night, and she got off 2.5 hours early today while I still had to work.  To add insult to injury, she left me with a ton of work to get done in that time and I barely got it done before I left.  She blames it on being pregnant – says that the hormones mess with her moods, but I’m not going to be treated like this for the next six months!  It’s bad enough that I have to be around all these pregnant women all the time, but then the one I spend the most time with blames all of her problems on her pregnancy when I would trade her in a millisecond!  I think I’m starting to hate her!

Well, I don’t want to be a bitch anymore, so I’m going to call it a night, after I put M’s laundry in the dryer… I’m going to email BeeFertile and hope for better news – although I’m really not optimistic because I just got my ER bill.  Even after my discount, I owe them $324 for a shot in the ass, a misdiagnosis, and a prescription for a $4 antibiotic!  MY doctor is the one who made it better, not the ER.  Too bad they don’t give refunds for a misdiagnosis, huh?

Spider bite almost completely healed!

It's getting better!


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