Lost on the IF Highway

Lost and Lonely October 28, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Lost on the IF Highway @ 9:28 PM

I can’t really get into the details, but the last few weeks have been the worst in my life, the worst in M’s life, and the worst in our relationship beyond a doubt.  I can’t seem to NOT mess things up. Everything I do or say is wrong.  I can’t even begin to explain it all.  I wish I could go back about 13 years or so.  Then again, butterfly effect and all that, but I know for a fact I would not be here!


We haven’t started the BeeFertile yet.  I want us to both make some changes/decision first, and I’m on some meds that I think might screw with my system a bit.  I’ve been dealing with a LOT of depression and I’m on some meds that really mess with me right now.  I pretty much feel high all the time, so I’m waiting until I can either lower the dose or my body gets used to this dosage before we start.


M and I have barely spoken to or seen each other seen Monday.  Life can get so incredibly insane so quickly sometimes.  I’ll keep everyone posted after we start the BeeFertile regimen so you can see how it affects us.  The thing is, I want to be able to give a real account of how I’m feeling and not mistake the side effects of my meds with the side effects of the BeeFertile, so I just think it’s best if we wait.  Thanks for your patience.


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